I've sat across many folks in session who are frustrated and disillusioned with the current state of dating, apps included and babe I get it.
Dating apps in particular have forever changed the dating game in the name of convenience but we’re in the middle of a dating renaissance and a cultural moment where we are saturated with screens and we’re over the situationships, the icks and the ghosting. There’s nothing inherently bad about the apps, but the way they are set up can flatten the human experience of connection. There’s little erotic about building profiles and swiping through people.
With dating apps, it can feel performative, it creates a false sense of intimacy and people can become boxes to tick off your list of what you want in a partner. Compared to IRL meetings, we tend to be more rigid when it comes to “our type”. We are less willing to go out of our way to meet people, to introduce ourselves or to initiate conversations. We’re also becoming more impatient with the process of building connections, wanting it to be quick and instantaneous. These impacts are what Esther Perel refers to as “social atrophying”. In the age of convenience, we are losing the relational skills needed to build, nourish and sustain meaningful connections. However we’re simultaneously all craving more authenticity and connection. The apps will always be around and be of use to those who need it, but we're long overdue for this software update. Many apps and social organisations are now being inspired (or forced) to reinvent the wheel. There is a clear change in the dating world and this corresponding shift in how we spend our time and who we choose to spend it with.
From run clubs to bringing back speed dating, we're slowly finding our way back to genuine and meaningful connections and I'm excited to see where we go next. Let's talk about some of the other trends I've been noticing in session as well as out in the wild:
Meaningful connections and authenticity: We’re being more real and upfront with who we are. We’re talking more candidly about topics like sex, mental health and therapy.
Slow-dating: Dating without a specific end goal or need for traditional milestones.
Fluidity: We’re more curious about non-monogamy or at least monogamish relationships. We know good relationships don’t look one specific way anymore.
Group or activity-based dates: We’re over dinner and drinks. In this economy? We’re making dating fun again by doing activities we actually want to do and not taking it so seriously.
Open-mindedness, politics or values being more important than looks: We’re gravitating towards people who we connect deeply with. Folks are less identifying as having a physical “type” anymore.
No more ghosting: Finally.
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